Peace?

Do you ever feel like nothing you do matters? Like tomorrow will just be a mundane replica of today? Like you have no control of your life, or your current direction is unchangeable? The older I get, the more I realize how little I actually know. Being extremely inquisitive plus obsessive compulsive, I ask myself questions in which there are no answers, thus driving me to the brink of insanity. Everything always seems so severe and urgent. Have you ever leaned back in your chair, and you almost fall, but you catch yourself at the last minute? I feel like that 90% of the time. Sometimes I think if my life was drama-free, and there wasn't constant chaos (manufactured or not), I wouldn't know what to do... I always wish for total peace and harmony, but that would probably drive me crazy too... A happy medium is something that either doesn't exist, or something that I subconsciously don't want...