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Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Birds

     Driving home, I noticed a row of birds fixed on a light pole. They were sitting in the light February rain; seemingly uninterested in the traffic below. The social constructs of the bird world seems so alien and simple by our high human standards. I wonder what it must be like to feel only in the most primal of instincts.To not worry about legacy nor mortality. I suppose politics and economics are foreign concepts when the wind is beneath your wings. Wars and protests are unknown when your beak is buried deep in the morning earth, searching for your breakfast. Being technically suave in a competitive work environment is not even a thought when you are soaring above it all. Updating your resume seems so trivial when you could be an owls snack at any time. Then again, I envy those little birds perched high above the busy highway, with the power to simply fly away to wherever the wind may carry them.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Mornings



Dreams of nonsense drip from my weary eyes like candle wax. The shimmering full moon reflects off my coffee cup as I stagger through the predawn mist. Remnants of the night are written profoundly within the deep pillow imprints on my forehead. My messy hair and stubbly face greet me in the toothpaste spattered mirror. Twenty three long minutes until that annoying alarm makes itself heard. And the cool, dark morning begins again. The TV flickers in the dark living room; local news of a new murder. It's these quite moments before the roar of finding shoes, backpacks, and homework... Those few moments sitting outside with my coffee in the cold moonlight... Trying to decipher last nights incoherent dreams... That moment of fuzzy clarity... Caught between sleep and chaos... Ah, my precious mornings...

Monday, January 30, 2017

Old Dog

     I have a little, old dog... I know the humane thing to do is to put him down, but I haven't the heart for that. Senility has set in, and he sometimes stands and stares at the wall for no apparent reason. What is he looking at? Sometimes I think he's looking at the other side. What if he is? What does my little dog see? Perhaps I have too much time to contemplate such things, but when you have time, you pontificate on the most innate things. I think he's half blind and deaf at this late stage, so it could be just old age, but perhaps he sees something I cannot... Doggy heaven? Is that the same as human heaven? I would love a 10 minute conversation with my ailing, old dog... We could trade stories of madness...

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Day 54

Day 54:
Things aren't going well. The small financial net that would have saved us has yet to materialize. Since December 2, my life has turned into a stress pool of uncertainty. When you search on a daily basis for some semblance of salvation, and the tunnel seems so dark, it's difficult to move on. When you are so bored that you are resorted to watching trashy, British talk shows on YouTube, you know things are grim. I pray there is some light, some crack in this darkness soon, because at day 20, I was already losing it.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Hand in the Mist

"Come with me", said the voice in the mist as I took its light drenched hand...
I have too much to do on this earth to simply be no more...
I have children who depend on me... I have that goal to find God...
I have music yet to be heard...
I have that book I still want to write...
Oh hand in the mist, your offer is sound... But I'm not quite ready yet...
I take solace in knowing that you are there, but I think I'll stay here for awhile... As bad as the storms get, and as battered as I get, to remain here is something I must do...

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Tic Tic

The tic tic of time...
Death's icey fingers approaching us slowly or quickly...
For we know not what tomorrow brings...
The tide never retreats nor does the wind cease to blow...
The world marches on no matter the fallen or left behind...
It's that constant tic tic of time that makes you feel every year...
It makes you realize what is real...
It never wanes or stumbles...
It pauses not for even an instant...
And when we finally grasp it's meaning, it is far too late...
So dread the tic tic you hear, for it only means a tic closer to the end...

Monday, December 26, 2016

Wonder

I fly over the dull winter hills and valleys in my pre-dawn dreams...
Searching for that light that brightly shines...
I wrestle the nightmares away from my darkness...
My feet caught in the thick thistles and vines...
I sit in the church trying to catch a glimpse of God...
Even as Jesus whispers in my ear; I still can't see beyond the fog...
And as my eyes fall open to the plagues of this earth...
I still wonder about life, death, and birth...

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I am student of life, father, poet, published author, musician, and a part-time philosopher.