Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Neurotic


According to the quiz, I'm neurotic as hell...
Kinda explains why I never feel well...
I have delusions of grandeur; I'm a star in my mind...
Yet in this mundane world I am confined...
Narcissistic yet self-loathing; I always expected more...
It takes everything I have to not walk through that door...
The older I get, the more I have to lose...
It's called insanity now instead of issues...
When I was 7 I had an epiphany...
"I was destined for greatness!",  I proclaimed gregariously...
Almost 40 years later, where did I go?
Am I addicted, or was life a placebo?
I'm struggling to hold on to that claim...
Destined for greatness and critical acclaim...
The reality is I'm nothing and no one...
 But I am one hell of an abomination...
 

Monday, May 25, 2015

Pugsy

 
  A few years ago, we acquired a little one-eyed pug. She was a puppy, and chewed up everything in the house. We all were annoyed by her constantly destroying things, and training her to be house broken. She looked really stupid, and the running joke in the house was she was "slow". Eventually we grew to love her and she quickly became a intricate part of the family.
     Last night was just another regular night. I was sitting on the couch, throwing her favorite toy, and she was fetching it and bringing it back to me. I stepped outside for a minute, and she followed. A loud truck was passing, and Pugsy ran to chase it. Within a blink of an eye, the truck ran over her. I rushed to the road, and to my horror, I see her on the road; motionless. Her little skull was crushed. I frantically picked her up and carried her to the backyard.
     I will bury her in a little while, as I don't want her in the heat of the day. It's amazing how losing a pet effects you. I am still numb and traumatized from the whole event. I will miss the stupid little dog greatly. Luckily my daughters we staying with their grandmother last night, and they are still unaware. I dread telling them because they will be devastated. This Memorial Day is going to be a horrible day for all of us. RIP Pugsy. We all loved you, and will miss you more than I thought possible...
.   

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Gone


You can leave, but you can't escape...
My heart is more than just a shape...
I saw you weeping amongst the pines...
It's clear that you will never be mine...
I'm asleep but I am wide awake...
Dreaming of tomorrow's mistakes...
I feel dead and alone, but nothing's wrong...
You're always here, and I'm always gone...

Thursday, May 14, 2015

 
I simmered in my warm pool of anger...
Splattered wax from the candles; broken...
Regrets dripping from the words not spoken...
The eerie night breeze came in from the south...
The darkness breathed and writhed in the wind...
Where have I begun? And where will I begin?

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Pain


Pain greeted me bombastically and abruptly; with no hint of subtlety or remorse…

There were no mutinous whispers in the quivering candle light; nor debatable discourse…

It conquered me immediately…  Disgraced, I was forced to kneel…

And with a pretentious grin, pieces of my soul it began to steal…

Its dreadful face is the last thing I see at night; and the first when I awake…

Its devotion is almost reassuring, but its motives still opaque…

I escaped down to the drugstore last Monday night…

I asked for some elixir, but all the drugs were locked up tight…

So I sat down on the sidewalk; defeated back against the wall…

My pain sat down beside me and offered up some alcohol…

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Moment


It's that wet glimpse out of the corner of your eye. Not quite a shape, but for an instant, it occupies some space... It's the fast moving rain clouds that darken the peaceful, spring sky... It's realizing that those dark little secrets that dwell within the moist recesses of your mind, aren't of much consequence after all. What is reality anyway, but glimpses of shadows... Fleeting moments of joy and sadness...Disenchantment and delusional freedom.... Ghosts and memories of shiny days and careless nights... It's all a dream that passes through time as a single breath... Our lives are but traces of a whisper floating in the breeze... The meaning is meaningless and our pursuit for answers are in vain. So shut up and worry not about the profundity of life; merely live in the brief moment that you have... 

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Bliss


We are tangled in our own restraints.
Canned and homogenized... Congealed and packaged.
We meander sheepishly through the one-way stalls society has provided.
Strategically placed in the direction they need us to be going...   
We are distracted by our devices. We glance up to see the burning world; only to yell empty obscenities at the TV, and go back to our newest episode of electronic fantasy.
Information overload...
News is instant and constant. The grim reality is looking at us through our gadgets, but it's only as real as our video games.
Morality and honor died with our grandparents. And as we watch heads being severed in some remote, dusty hell, we feel only for a moment...
Our distraction is our salvation, for
Ignorance is truly bliss...

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I am student of life, poet, published author,musician, and a part-time philosopher. I have four daughters and a son. Twitter@dhoover2112