Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Driving

I encase myself in my perceptions; always keeping my environmental and social filters enabled… I drive this aching, aging body around aimlessly; avoiding conflict, and always keeping foreign concepts and thoughts of possible alternate realities at arms-length. I navigate through the potholes and dirt roads of life for as far as it takes me. With blinders firmly in place, I routinely travel through my days without questioning the profound inquiries of the vastness of the universe, the clich├ęd, “why are we here?”, or what happens when our fragile vessels finally give way to the dirt from which we came. I am merely in the here and now. Sometimes the unknown needs to remain “unknown”… My ignorance is bliss as I try to keep my tiny shell on this road with no answers; with no meaning; and with the always looming finite time ticking in the background…

Monday, March 31, 2014

Cold day


I always miss her as she strolls through the hollows of my scattered mind. A pale ghost with a tattered, flowing dress. Faceless. Adorned with dark sadness. Ornate grief painted as her background, as by some demented ghoulish artist. My dreams shattered by the dawn, I awaken to the vacant and stagnate reality that is pure emptiness without her on yet another cold day...
..

Meiko

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Leave me alone


Yes I've become a loathsome, old man finding solace in misery. Hanging on to the good old days that were, in retrospect, not all that good. So leave me alone with my fond false memories. Leave me to dwell in my gray days mired with all my false hopes and faded memories in glorious Technicolor. Leave me alone with my old sad songs sitting in the dark. In the end, no matter what beautiful masterpiece you've painted for yourself, the colors all run into the same gutter when it finally rains.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Sinking


I am profoundly sad today. There is really no specific reason. The chaos and constant stricture on my soul is no more than usual, but walking around in the cold, sunny day, literally makes my heart heave with a heavy sorrow. I can only describe it as chains attached to concrete blocks sucking me to the bottom of a murky, black lake… The keys to unshackle myself, rests firmly in my pocket, but I haven’t the motivation nor inclination to pull them out… Breathing in the dark water doesn’t seem quite as horrific today as it once did… The thought of sinking doesn’t seem all that bad today. I think I'll just sit at the bottom and contemplate...


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Goodbye

I guess it’s time to say goodbye…

Cold indifference doesn’t cry…

Bridges were burned… Mistakes were made…

I have debts that can never be paid…

We are but strangers passing in the hall…

It would have been 12 years, come fall…

I’m sorry I hurt you; I truly am…

I know at this point, you don’t give a damn…

I’ll be a lonely fool sitting in the rain…

At least when you leave, I can cause no more pain…

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Let's Play

A predator with no prey…

A sunny, cold day…

A headache that won’t go away…

Thoughts of murder in the way…

Don’t go. Please stay…

We can dance, or even pray…

I’ll keep your nightmares at bay…

Unlock the door and we’ll play…

Sunday, March 09, 2014

Strange March day

The weather is reminiscent of autumn today. Doesn't feel like March. There's just something in the air. It's strangley dry and breezy. There are long, narrow clouds streaming across the pale blue sky. I am feeling desperate today, which is all too familiar. Counting out change, I find myself in the same situation almost on a monthly basis. There's never enough money. A wave of nausea rushes over me, as does a flood of anxiety. What the hell are we going to do? I'd play the lottery, but I don't feel like throwing away the last of my money on a chance to make more. I never understood gambling. It's a game that is set up to lose you money. Sure, people occasionally win, but why take the chance? It's a mystery. At any rate, here I am again... Struggling on this strange March, Sunday afternoon...

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Rising Fawn, GA, United States
I am student of life, poet, writer, musician, and a part-time philosopher. I have four daughters, a son in college, and two small dogs...