Side effects of reading this blog may include, but are not limited to: Dry mouth, spontaneous rashes, blindness, incontinence, possible suicidal or homicidal thoughts (especially in people with mental illness history), terrifying hallucinations lasting longer than 34 days, lupus, constipation, explosive diarrhea, delusions of grandeur, sudden urges to sing Broadway musicals, psychotic episodes, AIDS, breast cancer, disturbing dreams, hepatitis B, insatiable cravings for carrots, challenging urination, cardiac arrest, drowning in your own fluids, shift in sexual and political orientation, bleeding from the eyes, mouth, or rectum, telekinesis, blurred vision, severe brain damage, transported to another time or dimension, a new found ability to read Chinese (unless you are Chinese, in which case you forget how to read), collapsed lungs, renal failure, epilepsy, cannibalism, chapped lips, stroke, internal hemorrhoids, deafness, paralysis, difficulty riding bicycles, slight headache, low-grade fever, encephalitis, coma, and DEATH...
You have been warned...
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