The rude alarm clock splatters red paint on my gray canvas, somewhere between sleep and dream... I wander aimlessly toward the window, sighing a despondent sigh. Through this very window I have witnessed several seasons change. I recall looking out with joyful glee; sounds of my children echo in my mind.  I remember gazing out with a blank stare; utter dismay and disdain clouded and blocked my view. I know I looked outward over this view with malice and resentment. And with every season passing, a new, and hideous reality grabs a hold of my ever-weakening psyche. Today is no different. No different at all...