I pounded on the door, and begged to get in. Immediately upon my entrance, I started plotting my escape. I am defined by my actions and thoughts. I can't live in "the moment"... The past haunts me, and the future terrifies me. I'm confused about what I want. It seems happiness eludes me no matter what the situation or geography. No matter how much light or darkness my eyes see. The warmth of love is becoming foreign. I feel nothing most of the time... Seeking something to fill this endless hole. I fear there is nothing out there for me... Nothingness and blackness is all I feel...The inevitable feeling of doom cannot be shaken, for it resides within my soul... I walk among fire, yet I am not burned... I am isolated by ice, but never alone... I am perpetually lost, but without fear... All emotion has been depleted... And all my dreams have dissipated like the rolling fog, in the cold, breezy night... I can't decide which side of the door I need or deserve to be on... Someday this door will close forever, and I will have to invent another prison for myself... A prison with an open door...